A Random Life

IMG_7635

2009-12-11T01:42:00.001Z

IMG_7635, originally uploaded by sam.salek.

2009-07-21T23:10:00.000+01:00

Follow this blog at the new address:
http://weblog.samsalek.net/

The Last Battle

2009-07-08T21:51:00.001+01:00

With no weapon, no reason and no witness,
It’s a constant battle,
A battle that’s been lost over and over,
But this time is win or accept the defeat forever.

The Fall Official Soundtrack

2009-07-08T16:01:00.004+01:00

Watch The Fall

a magical eye!

2009-07-01T21:20:00.005+01:00

What I like about photography is not only hearing that ‘click’ sound when you take a picture! Or the satisfaction that you feel after taking a good photo … in fact none of these are really important… when you have the camera in your hands and want to take a photo suddenly everything becomes important. All the details matter and the things that you don’t usually see when just walking on the street are magnified by at least ten times! Each crack on a wall … a piece of rubbish on the ground… a ladybug on a leaf; they all matter. It’s a journey … you take the roads that you’ve no idea where they end … time is not an issue anymore, there’s no destination … it’s all you and a mysterious world reflected in your camera’s lens! A third eye that makes you realize how much there’s to see, to discover and understand.

never sent.

2009-06-28T14:57:00.001+01:00

Problem with opening canon raw files in Photoshop?

2009-06-28T10:00:00.002+01:00

Photoshop CS4 can’t open some of Canon’s cameras raw files such as EOS500D or 50D. The solution is updating Photoshop camera raw by going to Help>Updates in Photoshop, and also downloading Canon RAW Codec from here.

homeless years

2009-06-27T16:53:00.004+01:00

I think the smell of the paint makes me high!
I can swear I saw it was raining but there’s no cloud in the sky!
This year I’m breaking my previous record for moving in a year from 3 to 4!
Also my last record for the shortest stay in a place was two weeks, but this time I’m only staying for a week! … still smelling the paint! But no rain!

'no courage'

2009-06-25T21:41:00.000+01:00

Somedays it’s harder to see the point,
And understand the forces that make you carry on.
Reaching the same conclusion everyday; ‘nothing is real’.
Meaningless sufferings won’t give you any redemption,
And looking for a reason is a story that’s been told a thousand times.
Will you find the courage to end it?

0.45X wiiiide

2009-06-25T19:19:00.014+01:00

I don’t know where my fascination with wide lenses comes from but I just love the result! Being able to capture a little more and sometimes even more than what you can see with your eyes… and then looking at it afterwards, is quite something!

Recording movie with EOS 450D

2009-06-24T23:47:00.005+01:00

When Canon EOS 500D came out featuring HD move recording, which by the way is not that good!, the owners of 450D felt cheated since they weren’t exceptinga new model to come out so soon and with movie recording ability. Canon had to release 500D pretty early after 450D to compete with Nikon D90 which was dominating the market. The good news is there’s a way to record movie using 450D but it has to be connected to a computer. Using this software it’s possible to record even full HD with all EOS cameras featuring Live View.

Speed limit!

2009-06-24T21:42:00.003+01:00

I didn't know trains have speed limit too!
it's not like the driver is gonna lose control and go out of the track!
or he can't compete with other trains!

the posing cat!

2009-06-24T21:40:00.003+01:00

I think cat is the only animal that poses for the camera!
they don't get scared or run away .. they stay calm and pose! and usually they give you 'the look'!

help me!

2009-06-24T21:38:00.002+01:00

hey! yeah you!
don't just ignore me! I'm talking to you!
help! hello?

24.06.09 - the bus!

2009-06-24T18:46:00.002+01:00

24.06.09, originally uploaded by sam.salek.

last days of the uni bus

24.06.09 - laundry

2009-06-24T18:45:00.002+01:00

24.06.09, originally uploaded by sam.salek.

just another random shot ... testing the 0.45X wide converter

24.06.09 - clayhills

2009-06-24T16:31:00.002+01:00

24.06.09, originally uploaded by sam.salek.

A wide shot of Clayhills halls

The Music of the Midnight

2009-06-14T03:19:00.005+01:00

I love the silence of the midnight,
Everything seems so peaceful when everybody’s asleep.
And there’s a sound in the air,
It’s nothing, but it’s there,
Like music,
Inviting you to dream,
And to get inspired

A wound that will never heal

2009-06-14T00:17:00.007+01:00

I don’t write about politics; maybe because I hate the way it’s been used to suppress the people. Nasty individuals thirsty for power making their ways by destroying people’s hopes and dreams.

What happened yesterday in Iran forced me to drop a few lines here. Biggest turnover of the people in the last thirty years to choose their next president; but what came out of the boxes wasn’t what they were expecting. Ahmadinejad, which now has a new nickname: little dictator!, was elected again winning over 60% of the votes … simply impossible! No one can believe the same person who’s been damaging our country in every possible way for four years is elected again! And with that huge difference from the second candidate who won only 30% of the votes. Everybody became filled with a rage which is very to express in the current political climate of Iran and soon the people’s voice will be buried, but this wound will never heal.

The Best Noodles!

2009-06-13T23:46:00.005+01:00

When Ciane told me that Cup Noodles is the best instant noodle I didn't take her seriously! how much different could it be from the rest of them? but the truth is it was really different!!! so when she said the original japanese version ,which is by the way as twice as expensive ,is evern better than the chinese version I belived her right away! So if you are into noodles and enjoy the ease of making on in a cold rainy night when you are starving, this is the right choice for you! ;)

The Broken Official Soundtrack

2009-06-11T22:19:00.006+01:00

Watch The Broken

you don't always forget.

2009-06-10T19:41:00.002+01:00

Sometimes you need to write about it,
But it’s hard to hide the real story behind some abstract layers of words,
So you just seat, stare and think; how can I get this out of my chest in the least painful way?
Sadly there’s no way. You can’t just confess and pour out your deepest emotions! No one wants to hear those ... and transforming them into a story or some sort of representation only works for a few times and eventually you have to bury the truth inside with this hope that the time will make you forget,
but will it really?

you've been seen.

2009-06-05T23:21:00.005+01:00

Signs come in unusual ways,
Designed to fit the type of your understanding,
Funny sometimes all they mean is;
Your sufferings have been seen!

all the good parts!

2009-06-05T09:58:00.001+01:00

No matter how much you control your thoughts,
As soon as you fall sleep they rebel!
They take you to the last places where you wanna go!
or you imagined you could go,
or show you the people that you’ve decided to avoid!
But here they are! Talking to you!
It could be quite exhausting and when you wake up
There are moments of very deep confusion since it’s hard to distinguish what was dream and what was real … and usually all the good parts turn out to be dream!

A TimeLoop Called ClayHill!

2009-06-04T23:01:00.010+01:00

I hate moving! Especially to the places where I know I’m not gonna stay long! Carrying all the stuffs that perhaps most of them are not really necessary! Dragging them up to the third floor… sweating…with a exhausted body … and looking outside the window;” welcome back!” it's clay hill again! Feels like a time loop … a bit depressing! but at least I can be at peace for 10 FULL days which is awesome! I remember when I was moving up the boxes i was telling myself why did it have to be the furthust block and the highest floor? it was kinda funny and i looked up saying "you better have a good reason for this!"

it's over!

2009-06-04T00:03:00.012+01:00

The uni is over! and I’m sensing a very familiar feeling; “Nothing!” I can’t feel anything! Maybe it hasn’t hit me yet as Christian said! But I doubt that, it’s neither the first nor the only time that I feel nothing! However, this doesn’t change the fact that the whole three years have been a good experience filled with different feelings! Getting to know a very unique group of people! some whom thinking of leaving them now is unbearable… recently I’ve been thinking about how much I’ve changed during the last years a lot and I can’t reach any conclusion, I guess it’s kind of hard facing the fact that I haven’t changed much! Or haven’t changed in a way that I wanted to; I still have the same weaknesses and strengths, same issues and same solutions! Feels the time hasn’t moved since 8 years ago and I’m just aging! But enough of this non sense! On the bright side I’m graduating! And hopefully heading to Bournemouth to do MA Digital Effects. A lot happened in the last three years which with no doubt will change my life forever! And who knows, maybe the future is holding a very pleasant surprise for me!; an answer!

Too many reasons or none!

2009-05-31T21:36:00.006+01:00

A few days ago I finished a filming job (tnx to my friend Lukasz who found it for me). The filming was long (7-8 hours per day) and with very repetitive camera angles since we were filming similar products(watch them on youtube). But interestingly I realized I like filming more than what I thought even in a boring job! Obviously in the last few hours I was tired and couldn’t care as much as I should have but I was never bored! and tried to be creative as much as it was possible within the workframe of the job. Shame I’m not following a career in film making since … actually I’m not so sure why anymore! Guess I have too many reasons or none!

Franck, Shay and Lukasz; enjoyed the time spent with them at MHG design 28.05.09

Give me some Pain!!!

2009-05-31T00:30:00.000+01:00

When you look at the sources of your inspirations,
It amazes you!
And what’s surprising is how much good comes out
Of the pains! Perhaps they are the best sources of inspiration!
Makes you wonder in desperate times to be inspired
You may need to cause some pain!

an insane man moaning!

2009-05-31T00:18:00.001+01:00

Did you know that
If I keep my mouth shut,
And hide my eyes behind a mask,
And only use my words,
Without mentioning my name,
Then I can tell you whatever I wanted?
but then …
it won’t be me! It won’t be anyone!
It’s just gonna be an insane man moaning!

longing.

2009-05-28T15:07:00.000+01:00

Feelingless Words [Alternative Music]

2009-05-23T22:58:00.005+01:00

gone.

2009-05-23T21:04:00.001+01:00

It’s complex because it doesn’t make sense.
It’s simple because you don’t care.
It’s sad because it’s true.
It’s funny because it’s stupid.
It’s embarrassing because it’s no secret.
It’s gone because it was an illusion.

these random days

2009-05-23T01:09:00.002+01:00

It was the degree show last night,
Not many people showed up, hardly about 50! Can’t blame them …
There was a few good works ... this year like the last year I made a promo for the show and also made a website so all the works could be seen online… people seemed fairly happy about it which was satisfying. Three years passed in a blink! I wonder how much I’ve changed!

I don’t like these days! Have less than two weeks to find a new place to move … the one and only exam coming up but can’t be bothered to do any revision … and complexities with other things… don't understand people! don't understand you! don't understand me! don’t understand why everything has to be so complicated! Why can’t you people just let go!? ;)

Went to watch x-men origins … the story was crap! I blame Octavian for keep telling us to go! And was the first one to complain about the film afterwords!

Tried, confused, sorry, a bit upset, and a little crazy!
These days will pass too.

The Broken Officially Online! / The Fall ready

2009-05-17T01:44:00.003+01:00

I have finally stopped working on The Broken and it's online ... fairly happy with the final piece now. The Fall is ready since i had to submit it as a part of my uni final year project but I'm still hoping i can improve it a bit, not so sure how! but there's a new music being composed for the film which might help the story better.

in peace.

2009-05-17T01:42:00.000+01:00

Looking at how beautiful every inch of it was,
Round and perfect,
Sharp but smooth,
Just wanted to touch it and feel it with his hands,
But it was impossible,
Frustratingly impossible!
And since he had decided not to daydream anymore,
He tried to make peace with the fact that he can never feel it,
He was in peace.

Star Trek to rescue!

2009-05-14T01:32:00.002+01:00

After a very frustrating night due to the complexities raised with my last uni assignment which costs me an A and perhaps replacing it with a B or even a C nothing could be a better distraction than watching a good film which turned out to be better than just good! Star Trek is with no doubt a master piece! The film is so perfect that makes you feel like you are watching a symphony! I’m not a Star Trek fan and you don’t need to be to enjoy this movie … you will get lost in the movements of the camera … the sound track/effects and how beautifully everything is coming together. It is a master piece!

no beginning/no end

2009-04-30T21:58:00.000+01:00

They are just illusions of connections … but in fact they are all irrelative pieces …
Everything is just a shape, a shadow of the reality that’s fading away,
There is no beginning,
And no end.

No one was standing on the bridge

2009-04-27T19:52:00.001+01:00

“No matter how experienced you become,
You always need to lose something to truly appreciate its importance.”

He was standing on a bridge,
In a cold Friday evening.
He could hear some people laughing somewhere not too close,
And a baby crying.
He had a strange feeling, he knew that he had to let go
But it wasn’t easy,
Wasn’t easy to let go of a thought, of a dream, a wish ...

To stop daydreaming once and for all!
And to face the reality just as it is.
It was bitter.
And he made a wish for the last time;
“I wish you were true”

People were still laughing somewhere not too close.
A baby was crying;
No one was standing on the bridge.

me neither!

2009-04-25T20:17:00.000+01:00

have you ever felt welcomed and rejected in the same time?
have you ever wanted something so much and avoided it in the same time?
have you ever wished for something to happen everyday and blamed yourself for wishing it in the same time?

huh? no? never?
me neither!

The Fall : Voice Over

2009-04-24T20:58:00.003+01:00

Finally recorded the voice over today after bumping into a few problems with the microphones and the audio settings of the camera! lucky got it all sorted out before the actors became so bored! there's noise in the recorded sound but I was able to remove it using the new feature of Adobe Soundbooth CS4; it's pretty cool, you can capture a print of the noise and then it removes it from the whole track, nice and easy! maybe not too easy but it works 85% of the time. Might start some serious editing this weekend ...

The RED

2009-04-24T09:14:00.002+01:00

I went to help out with filming a short film yesterday. the real reason was because of the RED camera that they were using and I wanted to see it coz I knew they wouldn't ask me to do anything important and I'm not that armature now go make coffee or clean up after them! but it turned out to be better actually and except the last 2 hours for the rest I was actually a camera assistant which was good and gave me the chance to get my hands on RED. it wasn't really what I imagined it would be and if you had the whole kit installed it's heavy as hell! but I guess since it records digitally and with the awesome 4k quality it's worth it! it was a good day overall and satisfying to see the disappointed camera man face when I said I'm not coming back for tomorrow! :D it was although interesting to see what they do it's not far from what I do in my filming, basically they just have more crew and better equipments! but i don't think these people were the professional anyway ...

The Fall : Filming Day 2 + The Broken Update

2009-04-20T00:51:00.004+01:00

Finally the filming of the fall is over! the quality of sound was horrible due to the strong wind yesterday and perhaps not the best volume settings on the camera! it sounded perfectly fine in the headphones!!! The editing will take long especially now that i need to do voice over too.

see more photos of the production

The Broken final edit is ready. It's just a few seconds shorter than the preview version but with a slight colour grading and of course the new soundtrack. It should go online by the end of this month.

as stupid as always!

2009-04-20T00:49:00.001+01:00

"I tell you what"
he paused;
"unless you understand the impossibility of something
unless you admit the defeat
you will feel miserable"

Who says I'm feeling miserable?
said the young man.

"Are you really telling me you are not feeling miserable?
desperate? isolated?"

Nope!
and he looks away.

"ok then why can't you even stop being an animal?"

What the ... ? who the hell do you think you are?
what do you mean?
says the young man, looking angry.

"I'm from within you!
and I'm telling you, stop it."

Aw .. yeah I remember you now ...
says the young man .. carrying on:
I told you before and I'm telling you again.
there's no point for me anymore.
and he smiles... a bitter smile.

"You are as stupid as always"
says the disappearing voice in his head.

The Fall : Filming Day 1

2009-04-16T21:55:00.003+01:00

Started at 11 a.m., finished at half past seven in the evening! what a day! I could barely walk after we finished the filming but then a beer plus a cigarette and a good chat outside in a nice weather worked a miracle! I knew we got some good shots but I was worried about the overall result, but after doing a quick edit tonight now I'm feeling much better... it's ok so far. I had to cancel the filming for today because of the rain and hopefully we can get the two remaining scenes done in this weekend.

see more photos of the production

The Fall Rehearsal + Exclusive Photos

2009-04-14T19:41:00.005+01:00

The rehearsal went alright. There was a big problem with the radio microphones which took us ages to fix ... good thing we tried now! There's still a lot to do ... tomorrow the first day of shooting; internal scenes.

say hello to the rest of your life!

2009-04-12T15:05:00.001+01:00

he was looking at the mirror,
and the face that he didn't recognize,
and wondered;
"how am I gonna spend the rest of my life with you?"

The Fall : Danny's Character Brief

2009-04-02T13:42:00.003+01:00

A neutral life

Danny's friends know him as a reliable and honest person. Someone who you could always count on and when you need his help he's already there... or at least this was what he wanted everyone to think about him! the truth is he had no idea what his friends would think of him. He always tried to be the best version of himself for them but after a while he realized he doesn't really care anymore. He felt like no one can see the 'real' him, however, this change of heart didn't change the way he was treating his friends.

* * *

Danny usually defines his relationship with his friends so he knows how exactly he feels about someone, but this wasn't the case with Mia. He was never able to truly understand how he feels towards her. At first he didn't really notice her although she was trying to becomes friends as she didn't know anyone. Later he finally noticed her and started to like her, she was mysterious and fun. At some point he even thought he loves her! but he never did anything about it and the feeling faded away. Since then, she became a special person to him and he was always willing to be there for her although many times he felt that she's avoiding him! The whole thing was confusing for him but he enjoyed it all.

Doing Master @ Bournemouth ... yet to come true.

2009-04-02T13:36:00.007+01:00

Bournemouth is a nice city! but it's not suspiring, it's the 'sea' effect! the university was alright, not great, but good. MA Digital Effects seemed too intense! in about a year I have to learn and probably do more than what I did in the last three years! which obviously is good but I guess I'm just a little tired now and thinking of starting over is not that appealing. This will change by the end of summer when i hopefully can breathe a little without being worried about 1011 different issues! for now i just hope they'll offer me a place at Bournemouth!

The Broken: A New Soundtrack

2009-03-27T22:42:00.001Z

Although the final edit of the broken is not going to be something totally different(so far!), there will be a new soundtrack composed specially for the film by Greg Knowles. I had a meeting with him today and we discussed a few changes. The music matches the story really good and it is enhancing the storyline.

The Fall: Casting

2009-03-26T21:12:00.002Z

The pieces are coming together! today I found the actor for the second role and "The Fall" is officially happening. Two drama students will be performing as two the characters of the film "Mia" and "Danny" and another drama student will be there to help me with the actors. I'm hoping to add four more people to the group and have a strong production team. This is the first serious film with dialogue that I'm doing and although I'm pretty proud of my screenplay, bringing it to life won't be easy and that's why I'm counting on the people who are going to help me.

if only there was a reason ...

2009-03-23T19:36:00.000Z

he was pressing his eyes closed so hard that it started to ache!
for a moment he wished he wasn't there,
he wished he was nowhere.

the pain was too deep that it wasn't pain anymore,
it was a part of his existence.
"please see me before I fade away" he whispered and opened his eyes.

The Fall : Mia's Character Brief.

2009-03-22T17:40:00.000Z

The Inside of a confused mind

Everything was normal for Mia. A simple happy life, of course not without the usual family and social difficulties, but overall she was enjoying her life. It was just another ordinary day, a few months after she turned 18, when she start asking herself ‘why!?’.

At first it was interesting to ask 'why' for everything, and she felt that she is reaching a deeper level of understanding the life. She was reading many books about the experience of living and being 'alive' as well as writing about her new ideas and discoveries every day.

* * *

It's a been a year since she started her big 'why' quest! and one day she made her biggest discovery. She was sitting in a park alone on a nice spring day when it hit her;"of all these WHYs that she's been asking, she hasn't been able to answer even one of them!". She realized that all she's been doing was struggling to find an answer for a big 'why', and the truth is she didn't even have any real question, it was just a 'why' attached to everything! Suddenly everything seemed meaningless! and she started to remember her life, "it was painful" ... and she realized that she hasn't been happy for so long. She didn't know who she was, or what to she wanted ... Too much was happening in her mind and she couldn't handle it, so she just became silent.

The concerns of family and friends and their suggestions looked stupid to her! She knew there's no point in living! it wasn't that she didn't want to have any reasons or goals, she couldn't find anything important! and all the other people who can't see this were all idiots for her! " if they start asking why! then they see it too!" she told herself.

By time she learned to live with her point of view, at least for the sake of her parents, but from time to time she had this fascination of ending her life and she did it a thousand times in her dreams and it felt good! however, she never felt that she's brave enough to do it.

A Real Fake?

2009-03-21T21:02:00.002Z

what you see is not always what's really there,
but sometimes there's hope that what you like to be there
is actually there!

you should look for the signs,
and if one shows up,
that's your hope.

and this hope is really 'sweet'!
just think of the possibilities!
it's mostly daydreaming afterward
until the 'day' comes
when you can see if your sign was real or a fake.
(to be continued...)

Living on the edge

2009-03-18T17:49:00.002Z

He was living on the edge,
On the edge everything had a new taste,
or no taste!
sometimes he felt he cares about everything,
and sometimes he cared for nothing.
every day was either black or white.

the truth was deep inside we wanted something to
make him to leave the edge, maybe a hand pulling him to one side,
because he didn't know which side to choose,
not anymore.

(what's the edge?
there's an edge between the two opposite feelings,
love or hate,
happiness or sadness,
or even some other things
laughter or cry,
awakeness or sleep.
it's the moment or feeling that happens between them)

not real.

2009-03-17T09:55:00.004Z

he wondered how much he can rely on a dream,

a dream that will be forgotten seconds after you wake up,
no matter how real it felt,
or how amazing it was.
even if you see someone's special asking you to open such an easy tie!
and after you do it, you know why you've been asked to do that,
and then (she) won't let go of you!
it's such a strange feeling! the kind of feeling that can't be described by words,
and you felt it in a dream!!!

or if you see you've been asked a question that you've been waiting for so long,
and you get a chance to answer it,
but none of it is real.

not real.

The Puppet

2009-03-17T09:38:00.001Z

he always felt he deserved more,
he thought that he at least had earned some respect,
but he was just a tool and a fool!
and he knew that deep inside,
he couldn't blame anyone but himself for that.
you can't be too original, too loyal, or too real to the words,
nobody can and will see that,
you need to learn how to be selfish,
how to get angry and how to hate,
and how to move on,
if you are planning to survive,
otherwise,
your dark corner will do you just fine!

a missing scene / colour grading

2009-03-14T19:43:00.004Z

the broken! it is indeed a broken story! it's still very confusing and the more I'm trying to make sense of it in edit the less I feel I'm getting somewhere. Re-shot in no option as this point considering 8 hours of hard work that I made my actors to go through! so I'm preparing to settle down with what I've got and start the colour grading stage. What is really bugging me now is that I could use this story way better than this, I didn't use my chances of having reliable people around to do something different... but I guess I should still be grateful.

A Classic Night Out!

2009-03-14T19:16:00.006Z

last night i had a very memorable time! it's always good to go out with friends, but it doesn't always turn out to be so simple, relaxing and fun! perhaps I'm lucky to have the people around me who make me feel that way and I want to remember this night.

A Paranoid Man is Falling!

2009-03-14T18:52:00.007Z

why so much complexity?
damn it world!
all these moments,
all these feelings,
why do they all have to go to waste?
I keep remembering that look!
and wondering what it meant,
I keep remembering that moment,
and how it made me feel,
and then I feel paralyzed,
wondering what's next,
not that I can do anything about it,
just wondering what would happen if this
wasn't just my mind playing tricks on me!
and all these paranoia
is becoming just too much to handle!
something good better happen very soon,
otherwise I have to fall!

not too bad (AE Lecture)

2009-03-14T01:38:00.003Z

it started off very bad! I was confused and talking nonsense! then slowly it started to get better and I realized once I start to talk I shouldn't rely on any notes or slides ... they just make me more confused. I should just use my memory and rely on my knowledge, and as soon as I did that everything went a lot smoother! and now I feel ok with the result. I tried to make the lecture dynamic and keep the student involved and the short workshop afterward which was something new for them comparing with how other workshops are ran, seemed to be successful. Anyways, i learned a lot~

deliberate flashbacks

2009-03-12T22:30:00.001Z

While he was having fast flashbacks of her face,
he realized that these aren't really flashbacks!
it was just his mind playing back random images from his memory,
images chosen by him! even a bit modified by him!
he felt a bit desperate for doing that!
"why can't I have just normal flashbacks?
so I can feel there's a connection somewhere to go look for it??!!?"
He told himself.

The fact is; there's no connection,
there are no flashbacks,
and that magical moment that he's been waiting for,
it's nothing but an illusion.
but even with knowing all this,
will he stop?

AE Lecture

2009-03-12T22:22:00.001Z

Tomorrow I'm doing a lecture on After Effects for the second years and now; just 24 hours before that I'm starting to feel a little stressful! I've been busy and haven't had time to be prepared for it as good as I wanted and .. well.. doesn't matter now ... I'm just gonna try to enjoy it for myself first so I can make everyone else to enjoy it too!

The DayDreamer!

2009-03-07T11:02:00.007Z

Tired of waiting for you to say something!
Tired of me waiting to hear something!
I'm not dreaming but I feel like a day dreamer! dreaming of dreaming a dream!
and while the reality is fading away rapidly!
you blink at me! and I can't understand what you mean by that!!!
do you have any idea how frustrating that is?
perhaps not! after all it's nothing but just another dream.

better or worse?

2009-03-07T10:36:00.004Z

Although I forgot to record two scenes! the re-shot went good, the shots were fairly well framed and Emeline and Christian were great as usual,(they may not know themselves but they both can have a successful carrier in acting!). After a rough edit the story is still seemed confusing! not for me of course! i wrote it! but i don't think it's clear enough for the audience to get it and they might get bored, good thing I have enough footage now and by removing the extended ending i still have a better film to compare to what i had last week, so I can relax a bit!

A Mutual Connection

2009-03-01T15:03:00.003Z

it couldn't be love!
love is not that vague, once you feel it you have it,
you won't keep asking yourself about it constantly,
so what was it? just a curiosity?

it couldn't be random!
random things won't stay that long,
and they usually don't become stronger!
so what was it? just something that soon will become a regret?

it couldn't be a new feeling,
new feelings don't feel so familiar,
and they don't bother you this much!
so what was it? just a thirst?

he can't know what was it,
and probably he won't,
because there was a missing link;
"A Mutual Connection".

[After Filming "The Broken Minute"] The moments between failing and asking for help!

2009-03-01T14:32:00.008Z

I'm pretty sure that this wasn't what I had planned! A cold and windy weather was enough to make the stradycam useless! or maybe give me an excuse for failing! although after the first edit it wasn't a total failure and Paul's music was a prefect fit!. I find it harder than before to bring my vision into life, I wonder if the way that I see thing has changed and now it's even more vague!

After going through the rough edit for hours I feel I have to shot the ending scene again! but it won't be easy to ask them to come back! ... Although beautiful Emeline and Mr. Handsome Christian are both my super nice friends and this time I only need them for an hour. I hope I can put myself together and ask them! and they won't have to hesitate it too much... this still can be a nice piece of work and more importsntly created more time for me do to "The Fall" which now seems to have a candidate for the female role!

The Broken Minute (The Characters)

2009-02-22T12:25:00.005Z

I've been developing my characters for my next film (hoping to come true!) ... after getting to know them better I wondered if i need to change the story name!

You are: "Mia"

knowing your character:

You've been feeling isolated for a long time and although being surrounded with people who enjoy your company, you never feel connected to anyone, and in your personal quest you are hoping to find something or someone to feel connected to, something you that feels "real".

Your story:

It's just an ordinary day and you are going back home from school. It's one of those days that there's nothing on your mind and you are just walking without knowing where exactly you are, you are going home and that's all that matters to you at that moment. Your phone starts to ring so you try to reach it in your purse but you can't find it and that's making you frustrated. Finally you find it and try to answer it when you suddenly feel a pressure on your shoulder ... your phone goes out of your hand and you realize that you are bumping into someone. After you pass him you turn back and have a quick look at him and then pick up your phone and keep on walking.

After the 'accident' and as you walk and get closer to your home, you are confused and wondering what was that you felt? a connection? but how is that even possible? feeling connected to someone who you just barely saw, and you keep having flashbacks of what happened ... and the face that you saw which seems a bit blurry ... you try to ignore it but you can't .. there's just something about it that you can't but need to understand... you feel that you need to go back but you try to ignore your feelings.

You are almost home, you pick your key to open the door but you can't ... you are frozen! it happens in a flash .. you turn and walk back. You try to go as fast as you can. When you get there, no one's there! you feel pretty stupid for coming back! "what was I thinking?!" you ask yourself. You wait for bit and then leave.

Additional: you are still a bit upset, angry and confused about what happen.ed You feel that you have "no feeling" and carry on walking until you end up taking a bus.
___________________________________

You are: "Danny"

knowing your character:
You just got out of a relationship but not because something was wrong in particular. You always seemed happy together and you felt responsible and cared deeply for your partner. You just always had the feeling that something's "missing"; you always felt although you wanted to, you were never fully there, and you found it harder and harder to express your feelings to her, until you realized you have no choice but to end it.

Your story:
It's was a busy day and you are going back home from work. There's just too much going on your mind that you can't decide what to think about! .You are trying to light a cigarette but can't find the lighter in your pocket. Finally you find it and try to light your cigarette when you suddenly feel a pressure on your shoulder ... your cigarette goes out of your hand and you realize that you are bumping into someone. After you pass her you turn back and have a quick look at her and then pick up your cigarette and keep on walking.

After the 'accident' you have a very strange feeling, like something's happening inside you for the first time, you feel like you just found a missing piece! and you keep having flashbacks of what happened .. but you think they are all just imaginations and you try to ignore them. "What's the point?" you ask yourself.

You arrive at the bus stop, but you can't move and get in to the bus and it leaves! you just know that you have to go back! you turn and walk back.

When you get there, no one's there! you have a bitter smile and suddenly you feel like you knew this would happen but still don't really regret coming back. You light a cigarette and start walking slowly.

Additional: you go back to the bus stop, get in the bus and seat inside.

from 'The Fall' to the 'Broken Minute'

2009-02-19T23:02:00.004Z

I've been entertaining the idea of making a decent short film for a long time and this last year of university and the final year project seemed to be the right time to make it happen. I wrote a story which I think was quiet good, but the problem is with good stories come good dialogues and with good dialogues there's need for people who can act, otherwise it'll just look weird! and my quest for finding a few interested acting students from the drama department, despite the helps on my lecturer, has been unsuccessful and I'm running out of time, but fortunately if there's something I'm still good at! is writing!

Last night while falling sleep I started thinking about a short story with no dialogues but an interesting theme and now I'm ready to name it!; " the broken minute". It's basically a story about sensing and following a feeling in a very touchable way. If everything goes well I'll start the filming next Thursday.

Habit!

2009-02-13T22:41:00.003Z

no matter how bad he wanted,
or how hard he tried to change it,
it was always a failure,
seems not only it was engraved on his mind, but on his soul too,
perhaps that's why it's called habit!

Maybe there is a point after all !

2009-02-10T02:58:00.002Z

someone whom I'd like to call a friend, told me something today that made me feel a lot better about what I said in " Is there a point in learning? ". She said there are always a lot of things to learn, but you don't have know them all, what matters is having the ability to learn and finding solutions for the problems that come along your way. It made me realize that although there are a lot that I don't know, I've been always successful in learning the things the needed to be learned in order to get the job done! so well .. maybe there is a point after all !

The OFF switch!

2009-02-10T02:45:00.004Z

too much works to do in a little time,
and the worst thing is I'm not doing anything!
well .. I am always doing something just not anything about my final year project or the dissertation! final project will be fine hopefully but the dissertation .. oh .. don't even want to think about it! the word 'hate' comes to mind! wish I had a off switch to turn off everything for a while!

Is there a point in learning?

2009-02-08T00:17:00.002Z

My new website is finally up! it took me roughly about 100 hours of work. I remember 2 years ago when I was upgrading my web site's interface I used tables to organize the page, but this time I realized that tables are history! so I had to learn how to use div to do a tablesless design which was a real struggle! made me wonder if there's a point in learning when what you learn basically means nothing a few month later!

The Fall

2008-12-17T19:39:00.004Z

After you fall,

What leaves,
And what remains,
What’s Real?

No Plan

2008-11-10T23:44:00.000Z

a bitter smile that comes from some old memories,
a fading happiness, or a faded dream. Preparing to leave, not too soon, but soon.
these few remaining months in the land of shadows will be different from the rest because this time there's no plan.

Forgotten

2008-08-23T15:09:00.003+01:00

Now that he was thinking about it, it seems funny, in a bitter way, that he had to try so hard not to show his real emotions, the emotions that never felt more pure and true. Always trying to maintain his distance, not to say all the words that were filling his heart, and to be always one step behind, like a shadow. Witnessing the things that he was hoping are all just a bad nightmare.

Maybe he was doing all this to see a sign; a sign he waited so long for it to come that made him to forget himself, and he felt forgotten, but it didn’t come, it was never there to come.

The Circle of life

2008-07-13T08:53:00.002+01:00

Life is like a circle of your actions, but the second time when you came across the same point you are not the reason; you are under the influence of your own act. If you loved, you’ll be loved, if you hated, you will be hated, if you ignored you will be ignored and so on.

But there’s a way to break this circle, and that’s to be willing to sacrifice something to for a moment, to be who you want, with whom who you desire or where you want to be, even for a moment, you have to offer something … and lose it, not to achieve all you want, but to break the circle for an unforgettable moment.

Inspiration

2008-05-30T22:55:00.000+01:00

I’ve been waiting for that moment of inspiration for so long,
Guess it never comes,
There are moments, very short, but they fade away before I even feel them,
Sometimes I feel desperate, lost in a big desert, with no desire to neither survive nor die!
Then I think about the impacts that I still can have, on everything around me,
It’s not strong, but makes me feel alive, makes me want to wait a bit longer,
For that moment,
That moment of inspiration,
So I can create something new,
Something unique,
And then,
Perhaps go back to my desert and then
I can decided whether to survive or die, in peace.

Reasonless tears

2008-03-27T14:12:00.000Z

Sometimes,
For no particular reason,
He just wanted to cry!
And there was a mysterious joy in that reasonless crying!
It was like becoming empty,
Becoming free, for a short time, but free, free of any darkness in his heart.
And then feeling nothing for a while,
And back to normal!

Connections!

2008-03-23T11:25:00.000Z

“Do I even exist?” He asked himself,
A question that now he didn’t know the answer for,
“I suppose I do exist sometime!” he continued “because I can feel the connections” he stopped,
Took a deep breath and smiled … then whispered “connections” and smiled again!

Let it be!

2008-03-18T19:04:00.001Z

He just wanted to seat and remain in this moment of confusion,
Let his eyes to see everything blurry,
And leave his mouth half-open
And enjoy watching the random images that appear in his mind,
Try not to think about the time
As long as he can!

All for my heart

2008-02-18T21:34:00.003Z

Some days are just so empty,
It seems there hasn’t been any point since the beginning!
He was feeling like crying but he couldn’t and this was extending the emptiness inside him.
He knew that soon he’ll feel better but that emptiness won’t go anywhere.

Some days are just so rich,
It seems all the things that have occurred since the beginning were to make this day happen!
He was feeling like crying but he couldn’t and this was extending the happiness inside him.
He knew that soon he’ll feel normal and this happiness will go away.

So he just embraced it all,
He felt his heart is capable of holding the bigger things now …

Goodbye!

2008-01-20T18:10:00.001Z

Every night the same dream,
Seeing you looking at me from your window,
On top of the yellow building, waiting for me to call you,
And me; looking at you, without moving the curtain,
Saying goodbye, very slowly.

A Translation!

2008-01-01T21:07:00.000Z

‘I should write something, at least a sentence, to send out these thoughts in my mind that are driving me crazy…’ he told himself, but it was useless. He couldn’t write even a single word while they were million words in his head. The words that are not exist in any language known to us, therefore, hard to express. A few minutes later, as he was listening to a song, something sparkled in his mind. He thought of a way to write the words in his mind; he closed his eyes and imagined a big white space, then tried to put the words into order! And he could finally write something;
“a new era is beginning, be prepared to embraces it!”. He wasn’t sure if it was what he had in mind, but it came out from him anyway, so it was probably the meaning of one of the words in his mind’s language.

The unbreakable spell

2007-10-27T18:55:00.000+01:00

Each 79 days in the land of shadows someone has a chance to break the spell and become real again, and this time it was his turn to try his chance. One of the ways to break the spell is to make a dream come true so he decided to do that. He made a plan and even if everything wasn’t going to turn out in the way that he wanted at least he could make sure that this dream has to remain a dream and there was a possibility of breaking the spell in that case too. However, at the very last moments he realized that he’s still loyal to what made him a shadow! And the selfish part inside him that wants to go out and own something is still very weak … he decided to send out a sign, a sign of a true feeling that doesn’t seek anything in return, it won’t break the spell and he has to remain a shadow, but it will make him happy…
… and it did.

After the last stop ...

2007-10-19T17:48:00.000+01:00

At that time everyone looked like just the same and for a moment he thought that anyone would be fine! After all, this was all about remembering an experience, not to discover a new one, however, it didn’t take him too long to find an excuse for each of them to say no to all of them! He knew that deep inside he won’t feel any connection and this was all just a dream which will never end with a happy ending!

As the bus was getting closer to the Land of Shadows he thought that he should decrease the number of his visits to the real world … seeing people and what’s on their eyes make him remember some of the memories that he was trying to forget … the bus stopped and a few people got off with this thought that this is the last stop, but the remaining passengers knew that after this stop the real journey begins!

No pills for this week!

2007-10-11T21:35:00.000+01:00

“If you take the blue pill you won’t feel anything at all but if you take the green one you will feel the pain, but you won’t care”. He wasn’t sure which one to take for this week, last time he tried the green pill but it didn’t help that much, maybe he needed to go deeper, to kill the feelings.
“Hurry up and pick one! You’re not my only customer in the land of shadows!” He didn’t like to be under pressure for such a pointless decision and especially here! So he just turned his back and closed the door and that pissed off the drug seller; “ ok! We’ll see who will regret this later!” … he smiled and said slowly; “oh, you have no idea! I’ve got something much stronger! Stronger than any of your useless pills!”.

All the lost chances

2007-10-01T13:25:00.000+01:00

Another rainy day in the land of shadows; he was waiting for the rain to stop while remembering some old memories of when he was still out there; the chances that he lost and the fact that he never realized they were pure chances of finding "the reason" at the time.

Thinking about that could bother him but it didn’t .. “nothing could and would change here!” he hold himslef.
the rain became heavier but he decided to stop waiting and go under the rain;”will I get another chance?" he already knew the answer ...

Magic Box

2007-09-28T09:20:00.000+01:00

Long time ago, there was a girl living alone in the land of shadows, where nobody belongs to. She was sad and lonely, and crying was the only thing that could help her to carry on with this hope that she will leave this place someday. One day when she was coming back to her small room, she saw a box … a dirty small box … she picked up the box and took it home…
Before going to sleep she felt like crying again! But before she started, she saw the box in the corner of her room… she was completely forgotten about it … she cleaned up the box and then opened its door carefully with her both hands … something magical happened …. The room became completely white by the light came from the box … and she felt a warm touch and then a moment of peace … it felt like suddenly she didn’t have any sadness at all … she closed the box and went to sleep. That night she didn’t cry.
Every night she was opening the box before going to sleep and the crying wasn’t happening. One night she realized something, she discovered the secret of the box. Whenever she opens the box she suddenly remembers all the happy memories of her life unconsciously, all the good moments … familiar faces, those who love her and she loves them … and by thinking about those good memories she didn’t need to cry anymore, she was smiling and thinking about the day when she leaves the land of shadows to be back in her town, with her friends to make new happy memories … she didn’t open the box that night because she didn’t need it anymore.. She smiled and closed her eyes … then she cried! But this time out of happiness, happiness of remembering all the good days of her life and the hope that she had to “smell washing powder mixed with the aroma of delicious foods flowing in the breeze” again …
*dedicated to a friend

Strange Days!

2007-09-25T20:01:00.000+01:00

Everyone is looking at him! It seems that everybody can see that there’s something strange is in his eyes… but before he believes it, they start to ignore him again! He feels humiliated! … after a while he gets used to it but before he accepts it everyone starts to look at him again …